You’re The One Who Has To Change


“We are taught you must blame your father, your sisters, your brothers, the school, the teachers – but never blame yourself.  It’s never your fault.  But it’s always your fault, because if you want to change you’re the one who has got to change.” ~ Katharine Hepburn

We all know someone that never takes responsibility for their situation and/or circumstances?  I might be a person who has been fired from several jobs, but believes it’s because of circumstances out of their control or the lack of understanding/flexibility of the companies they’ve worked for. Maybe it’s someone who never has enough money for necessities, but they spend money on frivolous things, but continuously complain that they don’t have enough money to pay bills.

There are many more examples but the point is that we must make take responsibility for ourselves and make the choice to change.  We are in control of our destiny.

There are things that happen to us that aren’t necessarily our fault, for instance abuse. Being subjected to abuse of any kind may not be something you can or could have avoided. However, what you do with the feelings, thoughts, etc and how you chose to move forward is in your control.

If you have something that has happened in your life that your blaming someone for, it’s time to accept that you cannot change the past and you need to move forward! Quit letting the past hold you down.

The four steps below are designed to help you evaluate the circumstance/situation that is holding you down and find a way to move forward.

change1 – Take a look at what it is you’re blaming someone else for.  If you don’t feel your blaming someone, what is it that is keeping you from changing?

2 – What would you like to change about the circumstance/situation?

3 – What is in your control – remember you can only change what you can control; your emotions, behavior, reactions, etc.

4 – What can you do to take control of the situation and start making changes? Who or what can help you?

Make the choice to forgive. Forgiving doesn’t mean you agree with what happened or that you want to repeat the experience, it just means you’re ready to move forward. Forgive and accept what has happened in the past, once you do you’ll be able to move forward much easier. By making the choice to change, committing to positive change, and taking action you will see a definite change in your circumstance/situation!



©2014 Shari Yantes. All rights reserved.