“We are taught you must blame your father, your sisters, your brothers, the school, the teachers – but never blame yourself. It’s never your fault. But it’s always your fault, because if you want to change you’re the one who has got to change.” ~ Katharine Hepburn, Me: Stories of My Life
Have you ever known a person that never takes responsibility for their situation and/or circumstances. Maybe its’s the person who is fired from several jobs, but believes it’s because of circumstances out of their control or the lack of understanding/flexibility of the companies they’ve worked for. It may be someone who never has enough money for necessities, but you watch them spend money on frivolous things that they don’t “need”, and then listen to them complain that they don’t have enough money to pay the bills. . . .
Although there are many more examples, the point is that we personally have to make the choice to change. We are in control of our destiny.
There are things that happen to us that aren’t necessarily our fault, for instance abuse. I was physically and mentally abused in a past relationship. It wasn’t “my fault” that it happened, but what I did with the feelings, thoughts, etc and how I chose to move forward was in my control. If you have something that has happened in your life that your blaming someone for, it’s time to accept that you cannot change the past and you do have what you need to move forward should you chose to!
Here are four steps to evaluate the circumstance/situation that is holding you down and find a way to move forward.
1 – Take a look at what it is your blaming someone else for. If you don’t feel your blaming someone, what is it that is keeping you from changing?
2 – What would you like to change about the circumstance/situation?
3 – What is in your control – remember you can only change what you can control; your emotions, behavior, reactions, etc.
4 – What can you do to take control of the situation and start making changes? Who or what can help you?
Forgive and accept what has happened in the past, once you do you’ll be able to move forward much easier. When you make the choice to change, commit to the positive change, and take action you will see a change in your circumstance/situation!