Why is it so hard to be honest and transparent in our everyday lives? Are you hiding something, are you afraid you might not “fit in”? There are many reasons we struggle to be honest and authentic. Rather than focus of the reasons not to be authentic (honest/transparent), let’s look at the reasons to be and how to be.
You may have people in your life that you can talk to about anything; it might be a family member, a friend, a coach or mentor, a teacher, etc. If you do not have someone like this in your life it’s time to find someone you can trust and talk to. These are the people you turn to when you need someone to talk to that you can trust, someone you can share whatever you need or want with. You turn to these people in good times – you share your promotions, successes, feelings and anything good going on in your life. You may also turn to these people in the not so good times – break ups, frustrations, sadness, etc. These are the people you trust and are willing to be vulnerable (honest and transparent) with!
Ask yourself why you can be yourself with these people? What makes you open up and be honest and transparent with them? Are you honest and transparent with yourself? I mean deep down?
When you’re honest and transparent you’re being your authentic self. Those that know you as your true self and accept you for who you are, are your true friends, your confidants; the people you turn to when you need to talk. You feel better when you can be yourself. Hiding or being something your not is stressful on your body and can affect your health. When you can be honest and transparent in your everyday life you’ll feel confident and be happy.
I am reminded everyday how lucky I am to be able to be myself. I have so many people in my life that accept me for who I am and those are the people I spend my time with. They don’t care if I’m happy or sad, fat or skinny, dressed up or not, divorced or married, in a relationship or single, etc. Of course they care about my well-being and want what’s best for me, but what I’m getting at is that I don’t have to act or look a certain way, I don’t have to pretend around them.
It’s a lot of work to be with people who only like you because of who they think you are or who you’ve allowed them to think you are. Do yourself a favor and be honest and transparent so you can be your authentic self.
To be honest and transparent:
You must first start with being honest and transparent with yourself! Accept yourself for who you are. Every relationship you have starts with the relationship you have with yourself, so make it a good one!
Listen to your feelings; they are your best indicator. If you feel happy and light you are in a “good place”, you’re doing something right. If you’re feeling bad, ask yourself why?
Write in a journal and really open up to yourself – keep track of how you feel, how you react, your thoughts, etc.
If you have a secret you’ve been keeping, start by finding one person you can talk to so you can let go of the secret, uncover the secret or come to terms with it.
Meditate – take a few minutes each day to quiet your mind and get in touch with yourself.
Vulnerability can be uncomfortable, however when you’re honest and transparent you will also become more confidence in yourself. Knowing that you’re being honest and authentic allows you to use vulnerability to connect with others, to learn and to grow.