“Taking good care of YOU, means the people in your life will receive the best of you, rather than what’s left of you.” ~ Carl Bryan
Do you find yourself going to bed exhausted or maybe you don’t even make it to bedtime before you’re exhausted? Are you taking care of yourself or are you too busy for that? Below you will find five signs that you may need to add a little more self care into your life. Don’t worry, it happens to all of us from time to time, just make sure you take notice and give yourself a little of that love you’ve been spreading around.
You say yes to everyone but yourself: Are you a “people pleaser”? Do you find yourself saying no to yourself so you can say yes to someone else? This will end up leaving you feel unfulfilled, overwhelmed and perhaps exhausted. Maybe you haven’t felt it yet, but you will. When we consistently say “yes” to everyone else’s needs there is very little time for you. To add a little self care, say “no” more often! Ok, so I know that’s not as easy as it sounds on paper, but start by saying “yes” to you first. Start by doing one thing each day just for you. Schedule it on your calendar and make it non-negotiable. If someone asks you to do something during “your” time, politely tell them you are unable, you have something on your schedule at that time.
You can’t concentrate on anything: You have too much going on, you’re overwhelmed, and you’re stressed out! Do you forget to pay the bills, fill the car with gas until the light comes on or misplace important things over and over? Self care involves taking the time to examine all the things you have going on. What things can you delegate, what can you post-pone, what must be done? Make a list, prioritize and go about your time with intention.
You feel like you’re running on the hamster wheel: Like you’re running in circles, not really getting anything completed. Remember the kids game “Whack-a-Mole”, where a mole pops out of the hole and you have to hit it down before another pops up or it goes back down the hole, sometimes two pop up at once and the game continues until time runs out. Is that what life feels like? You’re always working, running, bouncing from one thing to another and when you lay down to go to sleep you feel like you didn’t really accomplish anything, so you fall asleep thinking about starting all over tomorrow, when the game resets? Following the advice from two sections above, will help here also. Be intentional with your schedule, use and prioritize lists to organize your day.
People are avoiding you: Do you get the feeling people are trying to stay away from you or that they’re tip-toeing around you? Have you been a little moody lately? When you start to feel isolated, ask yourself how you’ve been treating others. Are you engaging with others in a meaningful manner? Do you respond to their requests, e-mails and phone calls or do you wait until you need something from them to contact them? If people know you’re stressed and you’ve been edgy, they may be trying to give you space so you can deal with everything on your plate. People want to know they matter, that their friendship is reciprocated, that they matter. Self care involves nurturing relationships, so take time out for coffee or lunch with a friend, send a quick hello note or make a call to friend or loved one. Let those that are important to you know.
You feel you have to do everything yourself: Decided to delegate a project and something went wrong? Asked someone to do something and it took too long? Feel like it’s easier to do it yourself than teach someone else to do it? Get rid of the “perfectionist” attitude and relax a little, these are learning and mentoring opportunities. Remember that when you teach someone to do something, it may take a little more time up front, but in the long run it’s going to save you time and energy. When you ask someone for help, give them a timeline or a deadline, set expectations so they know what you need and when you need it. Good communication is another way to provide self care and great relationship skills.